TOLKIEN FINGER

I LOVE THIS

2008-08-18T23:38:00.001-07:00

What a nice photo
This picture was taken by Ray. It's of Mike Stevens. Seems Mike didn't want to pay $5 for beer, so he bought a 12 pack and snuck it in on his person.

2006-10-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite painting ever.

TUM TUM

2006-09-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

This is Keith with girlfriend Keva.

HELLO AGAIN

2006-09-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oh, hello. Funny story: I forgot my user name and password to this blog. Sheesh, what a nut. Anywho, I remembered now. Obviously, I guess. So I guess I'll keep on keepin'-on and leave you with this:

This is a tattoo owned by Aaron Harrison. I believe it's one of the best things I've ever seen.

1910 FRUITGUM COMPANY

2006-05-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

My weakness is Bubblegum Music. I love it. This is one of my all time favorite bands.

Does it get any better?

DETH

2006-05-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here's some of Deth P. Sun's work

I think its dreamy...

THE MAGICAL HANDS OF RIKKI SANDZ

2006-04-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

Here's a photo of Rich. I've know Rich for a very long time. He, aside from Keith, is the funniest person I know. He makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. I like this photo of him. Thats all.

HAMBURGERS

2006-04-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

Here's some pictures of Tiffany and Ray. We had a hambuger eating contest where I challenged my friends to eat a McDonald's hamburger in 30 seconds. Its actually harder than it sounds. You'll see the video soon.

Can you do it?

RELIGION IS AWESOME.

2006-04-11T18:24:00.000-07:00

CAMERA CLUB

2006-04-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Way back when, the only way one could get one's hands on a picture of some titties was by subscribing to a service called a Camera Club. That's how Irving Klaw made his mint and how Betty Page got her start. I read an article on the World Wide Web theorizing the advent of modern tools and the consumption of pornography. Case in point: The World Wide Web and Internet Porn. Let's face it, the driving force behind Video-On-Demand, Webisodes and the almighty faster connection speed is driven by men's primitive need to see titties in action. We're visual, it's nature.

KEITH

2006-04-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

This is a picture Julie took of our friend Keith. He is the funniest person I've ever met in my life. For reals.

JOSH BOHANNON

2006-04-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

On Julie's ROLLING STONERS blog there's been lots of references to Mr. Josh Bohannon. Here's a picture of Josh smoking at Rich's house with Lil' Mike lounging in the background. We all played in a band together called The Electric Nazarene. Josh played bass, Mike and I played guitar and Chris Grundy played drums.
I don't care what people say, Josh is classic.

SOME GIRLS

2006-04-05T00:26:00.000-07:00

Angels.

PETER

2006-04-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Pete.

He's from Rhode Island, now living in Los Angeles. He came up for the weekend and spent some time with the MacBook. He's a hoot.

LINK WRAY

2006-04-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

One of my all-time favorites is Link Wray. Link Wray embodies all that rock and roll is. "He is the King; if it hadn't been for Rumble, I would have never picked up a guitar." - Pete Townsend

Julie and I were in a band with John and Keith called The Bee's Knees and we swindled our way onto a Link Wray show. We were stoked. And after we played our set, we all went back to Link's dressing room in the hopes of getting our picture with him. We knocked on the door. But he didn't answer. We stood there for a bit until some sobbing woman busted open the door and split. Link Wray chased her out, screaming at her, calling her a whore and shit. We were stunned. He stopped right in front of us and I introduced myself. He smiled and shook my hand and was the niced dude ever. We asked to take our picture with him and he was stoked. Maybe he was manic, who knows. Anywho, turns out the sobbing woman was his sister he hadn't seen since her abortion 10 years before. And being a crazy Christian, Link was still bummed.
But I don't care. I got my picture with him.

SMOKE DOPE

2006-04-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

Here's an oldie-but-a-goodie from our friend Ray. This is Tiffany smoking dope out of a gun bong.

On a serious note, my brother-in-law Dan was bit by a dog this past weekend. The dog bit off his thumb and Dan almost bled to death. Now he doesn't have opposable digits on his left hand. He can't hold a hammer, brush his teeth or use the remote control the same ever again. And on top of that, the doctor says that there's a good chance he'll become a werewolf.
Bummer.

POLAROID

2006-03-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, the Blog-O-Sphere...I apol-o-gize for being away so long, Mr. Blog. Seems the Baron has finally landed some work up here in Ol' SF. I've been very busy. Plus, our computer finally died after years of agonizing pain...RIP, buddy.

A couple weeks ago, Julie and I went through some old photos and found the polaroids. Here's a sample:

Classic.

THE ROLLING STONERS

2006-03-06T19:32:00.000-08:00

Julie has a new "blog" on Hamburger Eyes dot com. It's called ROLLING STONERS. She's going to put up lots of cool pictures, like these:

It's a Hoot!

HOBOES ARE FUNNY.

2006-03-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

Ah, livin' the Good Life...

Living in the San Francisco is funny because there's always awesome Hoboes doing awesome things. One time, I saw a Hobo ankle his pants in the full afternoon sun while standing at the enterance of the Liquor Store and he unloaded his bladder into a line of customers. What a koo-koo! And another time I watched a Hobo masterbate in the Jazz Room of a record store. Today, the Hobo by the Burrito Store soiled herself.

Silly Hobos.

FURRY LEWIS

2006-02-27T22:10:00.000-08:00

Furry Lewis plays John Henry

Furry Lewis is my favorite Country Bluesman. There was a period of time when I was listening to as much blues as I could get my hands on and it wasn't until I got a copy of Furry Lewis In His Prime 1927-1928 that I realized what the Blues really were all about. He holds a very special place in my heart.

He was born in 1899 and began playing guitar at a young age. He was a tramp, hoboing around America until he lost his leg in a railroad accident in 1917. He settled in Memphis where he played the Beale Street circuit until recording some sides for Vocalion in 1927-1928. As the Great Depression hit, Furry abondoned music for a square job, still playing guitar from time-to-time, but not concentrating on being a Bluesman. He lived most of his life as a janitor until he was "rediscovered" in the 60s by Beatniks and Hipsters and began playing fulltime, recording and performing to enthusiastic audiences that embraced his emotional performances.

He died in 1981.

WINONA FOREVER

2006-02-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

Here's another installment of wacky Los Angeles Amoeba Music stories:

If you haven't seen Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, it huge - It's like the Costco of record stores. And they have a stage that attracts big names in the music scene, like Melvins, Elvis Costello, Black Flag, and some dude named Paul Westerberg. This Westerberg fellow was a really big show for Amoeba and it was the first time any celebrities called to RSVP. And among those stars was Winona Ryder.

Winona showed up about an hour before the show and she was led to the VIP section to the right of the stage. Fred and I spied on her from afar. Fred realized that Winona was casually conversing with one of his Industry friends. He told me he was going to try and weasel his way into the conversation...And just like Fred, he was talking to Winona within minutes. He chatted her up for a while, then looked over and motioned me to cruise over...So, I did.

I was nervous walking up - I mean, this is Winona Ryder. She was in Heathers. She was in Beetlejuice. She was in Edward Scissorhands for Christ's sake. But I collected myself and kept my eyes-on-the-prize.

I walked into their conversation as cool as a cucumber and stood next to Fred and directly in front of Winona. I didn't say a word, just leaned back and smiled. Fred turned to Winona and told her that I had held an impromptu eating contest earlier in the day where I had bet Greg Pope he couldn't eat a head of lettuce in two minutes. She laughed and looked over at me. She asked me "Who won the bet?" I told her "Me." She smiled and asked me my name...

Now, at this point, I'm freaking out...Winona Ryder just asked me my name...She's looking right into my eyes and smiling...She's got a white V-neck T-shirt on and her titties are heaving...But once again, my eyes are on-the-prize and l play it cool. I extended my hand and told her my name. She said "It's nice to meet you, Tim, I'm Winona". Sick...

Then, Winona notices that Amoeba has become packed and her sweet spot next to the stage has been usurped by Old-Indie-Rockers. She can't see the stage, she's a small girl. So I ask her - Winona Ryder mind you - "Hey, Winona, do you want to get on my shoulders?" and I begin to crouch, patting my shoulders. She smiled and said "No thanks, Tim".

True story.

I DON'T PLAY NO ROCK AND ROLL

2006-02-22T17:06:00.000-08:00

Mississippi Fred McDowell playing Break 'Em On Down.

Fred McDowell is one of my all time favorites. The first time I ever heard anything by him was his version of John Henry and it absolutely floored me. He truely embodies the essence of real country blues whether he's finger-picking an acoustic guitar or playing bottle-neck slide on an electric.

He was born in 1904 in the Delta and worked as a farm hand for most of his life. He'd play guitar for for fun, mostly playing juke joints, picnics and local social gatherings. He was "discovered" by Alan Lomax in the late '50s and became an instant legend, playing sold out festivals and venues until he died 1971.

One thing's for sure: He didn't play no rock and roll.

JAMES H. SEMPLE 1917-2006

2006-02-21T16:36:00.000-08:00

Rest in Peace.

CARRIE FISHER IS STUPID

2006-02-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

When I lived in Los Angeles, I worked at Amoeba Music over there on Sunset for about two years. I had fun, but ultimately didn't want to work in a record store anymore. What can you do...Anywho, the store had just opened and it was a cultural shit-storm for the likes of LA Folk. Everyone and their Mothers came to this store to either shop or just look around. I'm serious, Everyone.

One time, Johnny Depp came in and shopped around in sunglasses and a floppy hat and when he checked out, the cashier stood and sobbed in a stalker-like fervor until he talked her down by signing an autograph. And when Morrissey came in and the whole cashier staff broke down weeping. I bought DVDs off of Glenn Danzig and he told me about groupies on tour. And another time, I watched as Carrie Fisher tried to steal a 7". All true stories.

I think I'll tell some more Los Angeles stories later. Right now, Pop's has a Pabst with my name on it.

MY VALENTINE

2006-02-14T22:17:00.000-08:00

Julie is my Valentine and today is our 12th Anniversary. As I've stated in previous posts, Julie is a model. Here, she is being sultry...

She can be dangerous...

And she meets all kinds of friends on the bus...

She's super.

DR. SATAN

2006-02-13T18:17:00.000-08:00

Here's some pictures of Your's Truely...

Mr. Suge White in All White.

This is a picture of me passed out drunk in Rich's bathroom way back in 2000 or so. Ah, youth. These photos were taken by Ray. He's got a wicked "blog" called Endless Shaka. He's from Hawaii, he's Filipino and he's single, Ladies...

I LIKE SMOKING CIGARETTES

2006-02-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

This is a film that I did way back in my college days. I went to UCSD for film and had a bunch of artsy-fartsy teachers. This was a final project. It has a bunch of super 8 footage I took while we were on tour in the summer of 1998. If you look close, you'll see the Twin Towers and skateboarding superstar Duane Pitre!

SAN FRANCISCO

2006-02-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

I love San Francisco. We lived here for awhile a few years ago and then moved to Los Angeles. We lived in Los Angeles for about four years and then decided to move back. It's nice...

Here's a picture of Julie posing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge. She's a model.

This is Devin. He lives in Spokane. I think he looks like a God-damned hippy.

Meet my sister Katy and Dan, her husband. They've been together since I was 14 or so. Dan's like my big brother.

They came up for the weekend to chill. We took them to the bridge and to the bar and to the burrito store. Then we went to Alcatraz. It was super.

Look at her model:

I enjoyed myself.

HAPPY KIDS.

2006-02-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

MONKEY JUNK

2006-02-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

In this video, Son House explains the blues. Listen up, he taught Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf and Elmore James everything they know. Or knew, I guess. At any rate, he's the man.

Son House was born in in Mississippi at the turn of the 20th century. He grew up picking cotton until he began playing guitar. He killed a man in 1928 and was sentenced to the Parchment Farm. THEE Parchment Farm. When he was released, he met Charlie Patton and Patton took him under his wing.

Now, for those of you who don't know who Charlie Patton is, he IS Delta Blues. He INVENTED the blues. He makes Robert Johnson look like a jerk.

Anywho, it was through Patton that Son House got to record some sides for Paramount. Then like most geniuses, House disappeared into obscurity until being rediscovered by Alan Lomaxin the 1950s. And then all the Beatniks made him famous until he died in 1988. So sick...

STEFAN AND THE GIRLS

2006-02-03T13:22:00.000-08:00

I love cats, just love them. Here's some pictures of Stefan posing with my cats:
This cat is Fanny May. She was a stray cat that adopted us when we lived in Los Angeles. She's cross-eyed.

This is Futbol. She has a weight problem.

This is Tutu. She's the kitten. Fanny May is her Mommy. Well, her cat Mommy. We also call her Chicken Little, The Terrorist and Shoe-Shoe Baby. She likes to play with toys and have her tail yanked.

All pictures were taken by Stefan Simikich. He's a Pro.

NEHEMIAH "SKIP" JAMES

2006-02-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

This is a fideo from Wim Wender's documentary of the blues. I have no idea what it's called as I've never seen it, but I ran across this on the World Wide Web. It's amazing footage.

Nehemiah "Skip" James was born at the turn of the century on a plantation and learned to play guitar by the age of 8. He made a handful of sides for Paramount in the 30s and then seemed to drift into obscurity. But by the 60s, a new generation of Beatniks had rediscovered his and a handful of other's music. So, I guess we can thank the Beats for something other than Coffee House Poetry. Stupid Beatniks.

PERPENDICULAR CROSSTALK

2006-02-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

This is a fi/deo comprised of 15 seconds of video I shot from the Stanton Island Ferry. The audio is Windy & Carl and a prank-call tape called Longmont Potion Castle.

WELCOME, FRIENDS.

2006-02-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

Hello. This is a "blog". I think that stands for "butt-log", but I'm not too sure. Anywho, this is the first installment of TOLKIEN FINGER, a blog about whatever I want it to be about, I guess. Don't really have a plan as-of-yet. Hmmm...How about, for now, I'll show you some pictures and movies of stuff I like. Like this one:

Or, this one: